Could someone please give Gennaro Gattuso a hug
It wasn’t until last year that AC Milan coach Gennaro Gattuso produced the most erased quote in quote history when asked if Andrea Pirlo would have been such a good player without Gattuso. by his side.
“When I saw him play, it made me think I had to change jobs,” Gattuso replied, “let’s not confuse Nutella with shit”.
Now we are starting to worry that he has self esteem issues. Asked last week about Milan’s lackluster style of play under his leadership, he replied:
“We’re not Brad Pitt now, we have to continue to be as ugly as me and my beard, with dark circles under our eyes.”
Someone hugs this poor man and tells him he’s adorable.
Rating Statistics and Wiki Methods
On June 22, 2016, additional biographical information was added to a Wikipedia page, the first line being: “Robert Brady (born January 14, 1992) is an Irish professional footballer who is the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. “
Most of us wouldn’t have blinked reading this line as it was the day our Robbie scored his Euro 2016 winner against Italy.
This was not quite true, however. You have to be a little wary of Wikipedia because there is always the risk that a rascal has “edited” the page you are looking at. That’s why the whole world laughed at poor old FK Panevezys from Lithuania last week.
When they unveiled their new signing, Angolan striker Barkley Miguel Panzo, they trumpeted, eh, the fact that he had scored 45 very impressive goals in 36 games for QPR between 2010 and 2012.
But he hasn’t actually scored a goal in any senior appearance for the club, having only a brief stint in his Under-18 setup.
Where did FK Panevezys get their wrong information?
They have since apologized but insist they didn’t sign the guy because of Wikipedia, which he impressed during a lawsuit with the club. If he manages 45 goals in 36 games, you will guess that one of their fans might well edit his “Barkley Miguel Panzo is the second coming of Christ” style page.
Big Sam left in the daze of the deadline
Football has gone crazy, part 976: Davy Klaassen has had a miserable time since joining Everton from Ajax in a £ 23.6million transfer last summer. The Dutch midfielder has started three league games for the club, not lasting more than 60 minutes in any of them, with his last league outing in September.
So when Serie A managers Napoli said they would like to take the guy on loan, you would have thought he would be well prepared for it. The deadline day deal failed, however. “It’s the strangest situation,” sighed Big Sam Allardyce, who did not give Klaassen a minute of league football. The problem? A dispute over. . . image rights. And there we thought that image rights were something that only the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo had to worry about.
“It didn’t seem like the normal kind of problem stopping a transfer,” said Big Sam, whose head ached from the shaking. When, for example, he joined Limerick from West Brom in 1991, image rights may not have been an issue at all.
The game is dead.
Arsenal fans’ jubilation over Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang’s £ 55million signing could have been interrupted by news from the BBC that Sam, the Sports Analytics Machine developed at the University of Liverpool, had calculated that it would increase the team’s chances of finishing in the top four by 2 percent.
Remember, when they saw Sam’s predictions for Saturday’s games, their despondency might well have reverted to jubilant skepticism.
Burnley 0 Manchester City 2 (result: 1-1); Bournemouth 1 Stoke 1 (2-1); Brighton 1 West Ham 1 (3-1); Leicester 1 Swansea 0 (1-1); West Brom 1 Southampton 1 (2-3); Arsenal 2 Everton 0 (5-1).
They got the better of Manchester United-Huddersfield, but it’s one in seven. Arsenal loyalists will have to trust their Aubameyang prediction.
Quote of the week
“So Newcastle will have a Mohammed, Jesus, a Christian and an Islam on the team. We need the help of every god and every religion to be fair. “
Tweet Newcastle fan Adam Stoker after Islam Slimani arrived on loan to join Jesus Gamez, Mohamed Diame and Christian Atsu. He is now praying for their divine intervention in Newcastle’s Premier League campaign.
In numbers: 958
That’s the number of millions of pounds clubs managed by Pep Guardiola spent on players in his nine years as a blunderer, according to Nick Harris of sportingintelligence.com. If he had landed Riyad Mahrez, he would have become the first manager in history to exceed one billion in spending. (Jose Mourinho is second on the list at £ 867million).
word of mouth i
“Let’s just say the ball wasn’t in the neighborhood. – Kevin De Bruyne after being the target of a meaty tackle from James McClean.
“A great goal that Harry Kane would have been proud of.” – Jose Mourinho hailing Phil Jones’ murderous finish against Spurs last week. In his own net, mind.
“My mom went to my little brother’s sports day and sent me a clip of his run and I thought, ‘Okay, that’s where I got from!’ “. – Raheem Sterling upon realizing he had inherited his eccentric running style from his mother. Probably her speed too – she was on the Jamaican track team in her youth.
“He said, ‘You have to catch up with me. I said: “I can’t, you are Sergio Agüero”. Sterling again, this time on Agüero telling him he needs to score as regularly as Agüero himself.
Merson’s Plan B
Best U-turn of the week: The one and only Paul Merson, heard by Internet users of Football 365.
How did he assess the work of Arsenal’s transfer window?
Merson: “I would have tried to get rid of Lacazette and keep Giroud. They no longer have a plan B now, it’s completely gone.
“If they lost a game, Giroud would come in and score goals. I find that shocking. “
A few moments later. . .
So, how would he rate their transfer window work?
Merson: “I’ll give them an A for attacking.”
Word of Mouth II
“For him, finishing 90 minutes and in the 92nd minute running 80 meters with the ball was exceptional for me. . . imagine what he will be like when he is in good shape. It’s scary.” – Sam Allardyce welcomes Séamus Coleman back to action.
“Marcus’ story is quite interesting because he started playing with Mr Van Gaal. . . then the monster that kills the little ones arrived. But he’s played every game since then. – José Mourinho in discussion he held Rashford back because of his (alleged) aversion to giving young people his adventure.